Category Archives: Whining…

I Shoulda Stayed in Bed

Standard

There are days like that and today is one of those days.  I can’t even go into detail about why today is the blowiest, suckiest of all days because it’s not my story to tell even though I’m one of the players.  So rather than dwell on why today is blowy and sucky (and I’m sorry for the inelegant prose) I’m going to play a game of Anywhere But Here.  Let’s see…I could be…

On a ship (see Dad, I called it a ship instead of a boat, aren’t you proud??) cruising to ports near lush tropical isles.  I am lounging in a deck chair by the pool, trashy/smutty book in one hand, and something alchololic and blue in the other.  With a teensy umbrella in it.  TWO teensy umbrellas.  There is a salty sea breeze blowing my hair around and a cover band playing some good Southern rock, just because that’s what I feel like listening to right now.  Tall, dark, and handsome pulls up the chair next to mine and in addition to being tall, dark and handsome, he’s also funny and smart and kinda nerdy and thinks I’m awesome…

Share your Anywhere But Here in the comments.  Or at least take a moment and help me wish mine into existence.  Consider it a public service.

Black Thursday

Standard

I really try to be upbeat on this blog, usually-or at the very least I try to be productive about whining.  You know, looking on the bright side, perspective, this too shall pass, I could fix the problem by simply doing this one thing, blah-blah-blah.  But today…is just stupid.  And you know what?  There’s really no good reason.  My life, of late, hasn’t sucked.  I saw Idina Menzel in concert last night and she was fantastic.  She was funny and articulate and super classy.  (Might have had to be there for that one to be funny.)  Even better?  I didn’t have to pay for the tickets.  My friend’s husband won them from a radio station contest and they were nice enough to invite me along.  Work is going well.  At the very least, I am gainfully employed and in this economy that’s saying something.  I have a place to live with parents I love all the time and like about 90% of the time.  If you knew the monster, you’d understand how the other 10% comes into play.  I mean, life is not all that bad.  But today…is just stupid.

First, there’s the dog poop.  Arthur has taken to pooping in the house every morning sometime while I’m in my shower.  I tried locking him up to minimize the damage, but he just poops no matter where he is.  It’s either clean up up in the back of the house or clean up in the front of the house.  Won’t poop outside, no ma’am.  Must poop inside and then look cute and innocent when our people step on the poop with bare feet and let out a tremendous and highly creative slew of curse-words.

Then last night we had a genuine Texas thunderstorm with hail and everything.  On my new car.  Three dings.  Now, they’re small and let me confess fully that if I hadn’t been looking for them, I probably wouldn’t have noticed them, but I am in a BAD MOOD (TM) so I mentally catalogued them and added them to my list of things that make today really stupid.

Then I was just this close to being late this morning, but I was gonna make it on time, only to be stopped in front of the train tracks while an excrutiatingly slow 15-mile long train meandered it’s way down the tracks all relaxed and groovy-like.  I swear to you I could hear Simon and Garfunkle’s “Slow down…you move too fast…gotta make the morning last…” somewhere in the background and I wanted to scream.  In fact, I may have done just that to let off steam but since there was no one in the car with me, you’d have difficulty proving it.  I am not feelin’ groovy.  Just saying.

Oh, and I bought two embroidered polos for work, both of them the same size, one way too big for me, and other way too small.  WTF-ery is this, I ask you???  That’s $60 I’m not getting back any time soon.  And it just pisses me off.

And I have big nasty circles under my eyes and not enough make-up on.  You’re welcome for the visual, Interwebs.

Yes, I know, none of these are big life-altering things.  I’m aware of that.  And ordinarily I’d be sanguine.  Or at least, all perspective-y, because I’m good at that.  But today, I am in a BAD MOOD (TM).  Meh.  I’ll be over it by 2:00 PM.  But as of right now, today…is stupid.

Randomness July 8, 2009 Edition

Standard

I just got back from the post office to mail (certified mail) my ticket to the municipal court.  Did I mention I got a speeding ticket?  I did.  It was a thrilling way to start last Thursday morning.  I’m requesting probation, which will, provided I don’t get another ticket in the next six months, ensure the ticket is dismissed.  What drives me crazy??  How chipper the officer was.  Like he just didn’t give me a written slap-down, and he’s all “hey, like your new car…hope you have a great day…life is beautiful…”   Yeah, yeah, shut up.  Don’t spread your sunshine over my cloud of grey.  Big happy doofus.  I’m less crabby now.  🙂  Honest.

I am at lunch right now.  I brought my lunch today-tuna noodle salad and crackers.  It’s not the ultimate comfort food (that would be macaroni and cheese), but it’s a definite summer comfort food.  And the monster makes really good tuna noodle salad, too.

We’re having a quiet season at work right now.  I’m having to find stuff to do, which I’m not entirely used to.  It seems lately like it’s been feast or famine where work is concerned.  I prefer the feast as it makes the day go by faster.  And work-mom is taking tomorrow and Friday off, so not only will it be slow, it will be super quiet and lonely.  I’ll miss work-mom!!

Texas is hot right now.  It makes me miss Utah a little bit-not that it doesn’t get hot there-it definitely does.  But it doesn’t get quite so humid there.  For the most part, one hundred degrees in Salt Lake City, Utah feels like one hundred degrees with the heat index, not one hundred and nine degrees.  But Texas summer is the price we pay for Texas winter.  Texas winter is awesome.  Unless you love, love, love snow, in which case you’d probably prefer Utah winter.

I’m rambling.  I’m done rambling…

So Tired…

Standard

…I have been yawning all morning and I can’t make myself stop.  It’s a combination of things.  For starters, I actually got here on time.  Nay, I got here early.  I was up early this morning to have breakfast with elle to celebrate her very good news.  Ordinarily I’m waking up about the time we met for breakfast.  And then school and work and the other work is just a bit much.  I want sleep.  I want it a lot.  Can you go home from work early sleepy?  Is that a valid excuse?  I didn’t think so.  Damn.  ***yawn***

I Think I Can…I Think I Can…I Think I…Screw It. I Think I May Whine Some Then Cry a Little. Then I’ll Just Suck It Up.

Standard

Well, that has to be the longest blog title of my blogging career.  But it’s pretty accurate in terms of how I’m feeling these days.  School is harder this time than it was before.  I”m not emotionally there and mentally, my brain  just hurts.  I have an exam tomorrow (and by the by, what kind of sadistic professor plans a major exam for the Monday *after* Spring Break?  Did I blink or is that something a cold, cold person would do?)  I don’t like this class particularly-neither the subject matter nor the professor are remotely appealing.  So it’s a chore to study for.  But let’s face it-last time I was in school I was studying theatre.  I love theatre.  That’s not even work.  That’s like paying a five-year-old to color all day.  Woo and hoo!!!  This…is work.  Social work.  I really don’t want to make money, do I?  But here’s the long and short of it.  I’m not having any fun.  I don’t find direct practice remotely enjoyable.  I don’t get into psychology and all that crap.  I can barely deal with my own stuff, so I hardly feel equipped to counsel others.  And you know, sometimes, the answer is “suck it up, dude.”  But apparently that’s verbotin (is that the right word?) in social work.  You’re supposed to be all empathetic and understanding and, while I do consider myself to be both of those things, I’m honest enough with myself that I can’t be those things to all people.  So, here it is.  I’m going to take Macro practice this summer (working with community organizations).  If I loathe the macro level as much as the micro level, I’m going to cut it off before I even finish the foundation courses.  Because I can’t spend three years studying topics that hold no interest for me.

But see, that raises a whole new set of conundrums, most specifically, do I even know what the hell I want or who the hell I’m supposed to be?  Yeah, yeah, child of God, I get all that, but really, it’s like I have no idea who I am.  And if that isn’t the most narcisisstic (I never spell that word right) whiny problem ever, I don’t know what is.  ‘Cause it’s not all about me, me, me.  There are people working with truly difficult situations who have way better attitudes than me (hi, James and Sherri).  So I should just suck it up, no?  Yes? 

I’ll figure it out eventually.

One Of Those [Bad] Days

Standard

Yesterday was bad.  Really a bad day.  To quote Fray, and for that matter, Buffy…”started off bad.  stayed that way.”

Had a fight with a friend-a friend I love.  Got an assignment at work that MUST be done by a specific date, only none of the people who sign off on it are cooperating.  One is out of town; the other doesn’t so much want to provide the documentation I need to get the job done.  Sorry, too much explainy would confuse further.  Co-worker is out of town attending a funeral this week and I’ve been slammed with phone calls and applications.  It’s always busier the last week of the month-people wanting to get their raises approved in time for the next pay period.  Who can blame ’em?  But it was stressful yesterday.  And then I had my first therapy session.  So.  Yeah.  Yesterday not nearly as good as Sunday, the last time I blupdated.  Here’s hoping today improves.

Some Venti Goodness

Standard

…or badness.  Depends on your point-of-view, I guess.  Just venting.

I am in a rut.  I’m stuck in a rutty rut that is rut-like.  I need to focus on something outside of work and home-I need something.  Theatre is not working out for me at the moment.  Aside from box office for TA, I haven’t done much with it lately.  MMM is struggling right now.  And anyway, I’m not feeling the theatre joy these days.  My friendships seem to be changing and I’m just at a loss right now.  I feel sort of empty, and yes, I know that is lame and cliched.  But that’s probably about the best word to describe it.  I’m not connected to anything and it’s kind of a depressing, hopeless feeling.

I just need to get my proverbial shit together because I hate feeling this way.