So last night the monster asked me to take a few pictures for her. Not that kind, dude, get your mind out of the gutter. (And also, YUCK!) She bought a really heavy cast iron candle stick for one friend and a chubby kitty-cat yard statue for another for Christmas. Instead of wrapping them up, we thought it would be cool to take a picture and wrap the picture, thus ensuring no one injures him/herself during her annual group Christmas party by dropping something heavy on their foot. Or someone else’s foot. Whatever, you get the picture. Hee-get the picture. Get it? Picture? Because we’re talking about pictures. Oh, I crack myself up. Never mind. Moving on…
So yesterday we stood the little kitty-cat statue by the Christmas tree and took some pictures. Then we stood the monstrosity (the cast iron candle stick) by the Christmas tree and we took pictures of that. And then we had film left in the camera. The monster was all for just developing it anyway but I, alas, am a thrifty soul. Not really-that’s a total lie. But there was still film! And we have the perfect subjects in two of the three cutest dogs in Texas. (See how I remembered Molly?) So I decide I’m going to take pictures of my dogs, Baxter and Cydney. It didn’t go well.
Baxter is scared of the camera. Whenever he gets upset or nervous he does this little shoulder slumpy, droopy eyes thing that I swear to you looks exactly like Eeyore. It took some finagling, but finally he stopped with the Eeyore long enough for me to take a fairly decent picture (at least I think so, film won’t be developed until tomorrow). So then I turn my attention to Cydney. Unlike Baxter, she clearly loves the camera. How much, you ask? So much that she rolled over on her back and gave me the full-tummy-spread-legs effect. I kept telling her, “sit up, honey, I don’t do dog p0rn,” and she kept not doing it. I put the camera down, she sits back up like the elegant lady she is. I pick up the camera and she’s on her back. It was terribly disturbing.
When my dad got home he managed to get them both to pose demurely (Cydney) and slightly less frightened looking than before (Baxter). I’ve never worked so hard for dog photos in my life. I’ll have to post them when the film is developed.
So, along with Chauceriangirl, I joined Weight Watchers. Because positive energy loves company. Did you see how I did that? How I turned around the negative cliche (misery loves company) and made it all positive? That’s reframing. That’s right-I’m on it, ya’ll. No, seriously, I feel pretty good about it, so much so that I feel no need to chat overmuch regarding it. This is the best I’ve felt in ages.
This morning while I was getting ready for work, I felt something streak across my foot, so I looked down and it was a skink! So I hollered at my monster and she was all, “Hey, there’s another Lizard in the bathroom!” And I was like, “huh? ANOTHER one??” and I started looking frantically around for the nest of green skinks and then I realized she meant me. So, thanks, chauceriangirl for the lizard-breath name I will never escape as long as I live.
Have you ever been stuck in a meeting you were not able to leave and you had to pee so bad that you wind up squeezing your legs together really tight so no pee escapes? That totally happened to me today.
I don’t know why I shared that.
Okay, well, I’m TMI’d out. Ya’ll have a good day.