izzybella

I just found out the state is not renewing our organization’s contract into the 2010/2011 fiscal year.  As of August, I won’t have a job anymore.  On the whole, I’ve been very spoiled where I work.  I get free insurance.  My boss is very good to me and flexible with my schedule.  I like most of my co-workers very much.  So I’m kind of depressed about all this.  At least I have 8 months to find a new job…

A few years ago I gave my parents a set of old-world Santas.  They’re incredibly detailed and beautiful.  One is wearing red and gold robes and holding a wicker basket filled with holly.  The other is wearing ivory and gold robes and holding a carved ivory staff with a crystal atop.  For some reason I cannot fathom, my parents always choose to place these Santas in the hall bath during the Christmas season.  They’re very festive, true.  But I use the hall bath.  And when I get out of the shower, it’s always very unsettling to look over and see the two Santas staring at me.  I get embarrassed.  Terribly.  I know it’s silly, but I can’t help it.  I have taken to turning them the opposite direction when I shower and then moving them back when I’m all dressed.  Peeping Santas are creepy.

In other news, it’s cold today.  I wouldn’t mind the cold so much, except it was absolutely gorgeous yesterday and most of last weekend–sunny, blue skies, in the upper 60s and lower 70s.  I usually enjoy the cold because…sweaters.  And boots.  But it was soooo pretty yesterday…

They’re doing construction in my building right now.  It’s kind of giving me a headache.  I wonder if it would be bad form to wear earplugs at work.  I’m strongly considering going out and buying a pair at lunch.  Because basically, it’s like a jackhammer going off right next door.  It’s LOUD.  And my head is aching.  And it’s only 10:00 a.m.  Blah.  That’s what I say.

I have people coming to visit me in the new year and I’m very excited about that!  First, M is coming for a few days.  He’ll be here super bowl weekend.  It’s the first time I’ve ever looked forward to a football event.  That will be very fun.  And then mom and P&K will be here in March.  Mom wants to go to East TX to visit our Uncle L, which is always fun, ’cause he’s snarky and funny and brilliant.  I’m looking forward to it.

Okay, break’s over and I should return to this thing we call work.  Be good, ya’ll.  Or at least have fun being bad…

Dear Lying Liars Who Lie-

You know who you are, so I’m not naming any names.  At this point in time, I am thinking of a specific one amongst your numbers, yet he is typical of your entire breed.  So let me ’splain a few things.  I will try to go slowly so you can take it all in.

1. It’s much easier to tell the truth than tell a lie.  Do you know why?  Because then you aren’t stuck remembering which lie it was you actually told and don’t have to worry about getting stories straight.
2. Most people would rather you told the truth, even if it would hurt their feelings, because that way they don’t go around assuming things that are in fact, not true and then wind up making humungous idiots out of themselves.
3. Sometimes you can actually sneak in the truth in casual conversation.  For example, let’s say you don’t like football and someone is discussing how awesome (not) the Cowboys are–and see how I just did that…with that little “not” you now know exactly how I feel about the Dallas Cowboys–you might say, “Oh, I’m not a big fan of football, but, dude, the Dallas Stars hockey team is freakin’ awesome!”  You see how that works?  It’s nice.  And it is also the truth.
4. Lying makes you break out in hives and has been known to cause impotency.  That may not actually be true, but it should be, and in the world I will eventually rule, I will make it so.

That is all.  Just think about it is all I’m saying.  And be glad I don’t rule the world.

Hope you have the BESTEST birthday yet…

Trust me…she hasn’t changed a bit. 

• Peppermint Mocha coffee with an extra espresso shot.  Tasty.
• Playing wingwoman to bestie and all of us getting drinks sent by cute bartender.  Hell, yeah.
• Flirtatious texting. Sweet!
• Losing a bet.  Strangely enough, I’m happy about that too.  Spend my money well, L.  Or you could just spend it on me when you’re in Mexico.  You know.  Whatevs.
• Winter.  I’m sorry, sun-lovers, but winter kicks ass.  Sweaters.  Pea Coats. Boots. Winter only lasts like 20 minutes here in Texas so I plan on enjoying it while it’s here.
• Animated stuffed animals.  Creepy.
• The end of the kids’ show at TA.  Halli*&^%((&leuiah (edited for any of my parental units who have found their way to my blog).
• Christmas trees.  That’s right.  That was plural.  There’s more than one Christmas tree in my house.  Suck it, if you think that’s excessive.  I think it’s festive.
• Shiraz.  I had some.  I hated it. 
• Losing access to my database at work for an entire week.  Like getting paid to play solitaire.
• Gaining access to my database on Friday.  Dude, couldn’t that have been reversed, so I played all day Friday and worked my ass off Monday through Thursday?

Yeah, okay, that’s enough randomness for now.

I’m one of those people who generally looks forward to Friday the 13th.  I seem to have really good days on Friday the 13th.  I don’t know if it’s fate or just some underlying stubbornness in me that’s like “screw-you-bad-luck-day-I’m-having-a-good-day-anyway” or what.  Today has failed me.  Utterly and miserably.  It’s only 9:00 a.m. and I’ve already managed to upset a good friend by buying for myself what she went to great effort to procure for me for my upcoming birthday.  I know how frustrating that is as the gift-giver because it’s happened to me before.  It’s so exasperating and it sucks because you know you are giving someone the perfect gift and then they up and screw it all over.  So I’m having massive guilt feelings.  Not the way to start a day.  I wish I hadn’t told her so enthusastically about my purchase–I could have found a way to return it and we’d all be happier.

And then there are other friend issues (different friend) I’m having to work out and it’s just all…bleh.  I want to crawl back into bed and forget today ever happened.

Then I found out that my job is *again* in jeopordy.  We have our contract signed through next August and it’s really iffy as to whether the contract will be renewed next year.  It almost wasn’t this year.  But now, the entity we contract with is conducting a “fact-finding” meeting with my specific department in order to determine whether our department is something they can replicate in-house.  So even if our contract is renewed next year, I may not have a place in the organization.  It’s all very tenuous and very stressful.

And then, after my trip to AZ and the money it cost, I just got the first of my hospital bills–the parts insurance won’t cover.  I have to somehow come up with $600.  I could completely empty out my savings account, but that’s a depressing thought.  And also depressing that the entire Internet now knows I’m a terrible saver.  It’s just I’m still trying to dig out of the financial hole I got into during school, so it’s hard to save while trying to pay other stuff off.  Whatever.  Money sucks.  Or, to be more honest, not having it sucks.

There’s just too much going on right now and I feel really overwhelmed.  So I guess the only thing to do is to go back to work and try to do the best job I can.

I know, I know, it’s been a while.  I’m pretty much behind on everything.  So without further ado, some randomness and and some ’splaining:

• I did not have a heart attack.  I had pericarditis.  Or something spelled similarly.  I spent about 14 hours in the ER with nothing to watch but the “Misery Loves Company” movie-thon on the Lifetime Network.  (couldn’t figure out how to change the channel with the remote thingie without accidentally calling the nurse instead; and the television was too high for me to reach to change it the old fashioned way).  The “Misery Loves Company” movie-thon could be an entire blogpost in and of itself.  Seriously.  Who enjoys watching overly melodramatic movies about predatory family members and raving lunatic murderers who enjoy first cutting up a woman’s face before the killin’ commences?  Honest, that’s some strange crap.  Anyway, I got an EKG (weird, but not painful), a CT scan (that contrast they inject gives off a weird I-think-I-just-peed-my-pants-even-though-I-know-I-didn’t feeling), a MRI (loud.  claustrophobic. also more of that weird contrast crap) and was sent home with some medication and instructions to come back right away if the pain doesn’t go away or gets worse.  The only truly painful part of the proceedings (the literal kind, not the metaphorical kind involving bad Lifetime movies) was when they ripped the tape off while they were removing the IV.  They took a nice chunk of skin along with it.  I still have a faint tape outline on my arm.  But truly, you would be AMAZED how a fake heart attack can be incentive enough to eat healthily and avoid fried stuff.  I should have had a fake heart attack right when I first started gaining the weight.  I’d have never had this problem to begin with!
• I bought awesome fake jewelry at the theatre fundraiser last weekend.  A fake amethyst ring and another ring with a stone so fake that I don’t think the color actually exists in nature.  It’s a weird shade of green.  Anyway, I love them.  I have been wearing them every day this week.  I don’t wear jewelry very often so that’s saying something.
• Cella got adopted!!!  Only her owner is going to rename her Bella because she has a niece with a very similar name to “Cella” and didn’t want there to be any confusion.  So I must call her Bella from here on out.  Bella’s new mom is out of town for a couple of weeks, but she’ll return on the 18th and will come and pick Bella up on the 19th.  They’re the perfect family for her.  Her new dad is retired and they don’t expect she’ll be alone during the day much more than 2 or 3 hours.  They like to go on daily walks and plan on taking Bella with them.  Their grandkids and nieces and nephews are always over at the house so Bella will have plenty of kids to get love from.  Plus they enjoy training dogs and Bella could sure use some training.  It’s like they were all made for each other.  I’m really happy for Bella, though I have to admit that even though she can be a stubborn little stinker, I’m still going to miss her.  She’s a great big cuddly, loving, sweetheart of a puppy dog.  She deserves this awesome family.
• It’s very quiet in the office today.  Work-mom is out sick still so I have the entire office to myself.  I got the first-checking done in record time and still have to get the data-entry completed.  I’m taking a short lunch to do this post at the behest of my three favorite (only) blog readers.  I’ll shout out, just ’cause I love ya’ll so much…Foi!!!! Sunshine!!!!  Gypsy!!!!!!!  Consider yourselves shout-outed.
• Found a new comic.  (like I need anymore to get addicted to…damn you Lone Star Comics)  This one is called Echo and it’s by Terry Moore.  I have a feeling I may be in the process of falling in a deep Joss Whedon kind of love with Terry Moore.  It’s got these gorgeous intertwined relationships that play out in the most ingenious way.  I thought at first it would be kind of like Stephenie Meyer’s “The Host” the way it was described to me (two conciousnesses–is that even a word–sharing one body), but it’s nothing like it.  Go check it out.    According to the bio, he’s written another comic series called Strangers in Paradise, which I will be checking out.  If he is indeed a Joss Whedon sort, I will probably wind up paying money for a copy of his Gap commercial, should he ever write one.
• On the way to Houston last September for a training conference, I had this conversation with my co-worker about whether or not we would like to meet the people we idolize.  Co-worker was all for it, but I’m strangely hesitant.  I have to admit it would be cool to meet some of the writers/creative types who inspire me.  But I think I would be in such awe that I would have no idea what to say and would both look and feel stupid.  Plus, while I’m aware we’re all human and we all have faults and weaknesses, I’m not sure I want to know what their faults and weaknesses are besides what they choose to share in their creations.  If that makes any kind of sense.  It’s easier to suspend disbelief when I don’t know all that much about them.  However, I reserve the right to change my mind should any of the people who inspire me call up and ask me out for lunch.   

Okay, the randomness ends here.  I have to get back to work.  Hopefully this satisfied the “where the hell have you been” emails I’ve been getting.

It isn’t a good day unless I’ve made a small child cry.  Kidding.  But I did manage to do just that last night.  My friend, R, called up and told me her youngest (we’ll call her FREAKIN’ ADORABLE or FA, ’cause that’s what she is) wanted to come over to my house and pet my dogs.  But last night just wasn’t a good night for her to come over.  When she was told it would have to wait for a better time, she started crying, which then caused her older sister (ALSO ADORABLE, or AA) to start crying.  I felt really bad about it for a while, but then I decided to celebrate my inner meanie, Cruella DeVille style, and boast on the Internet that I made a small child cry.  I’m sure it would be much more convincing if I actually meant it.  I try, but I’m not really a meanie sort of person.

It’s been a while since I blupdated, so I thought I’d log on and share random thoughts and bits.  I’m sure you’re thrilled…:)

First, it is inadvisable to party too late on a work night.  Know why?  ‘Cause you feel all icky the next day and you wind up being late to work and feeling gross and you don’t even make your bed before you leave the house because you’re running so late.  You get to work late and your co-workers and fellow partiers, who are about 10 years younger than you, look revoltingly refreshed and happy like they’ve slept ten hours, and then they make fun of you.  And then your work-mom starts singing strange songs at you to try to get you to laugh, only you’re cranky so it doesn’t work.  So then a co-worker sends an actual photograph via email of a chestnut, knowing that on usual days, the word, “chestnut”, makes you giggle like a fifth grade boy, only it doesn’t work because of the aforementioned crankiness.  And another co-worker (e.g. the best friend) brings you coffee and a slice of lemon pound cake and you have to be grateful, because deep down inside you really are truly and genuinely grateful, but the urge to be cranky is so strong…but you bravely overpower it and thank her, but you still feel pissy.  This is all theoretical, mind you.  I don’t know what makes you think I am talking about myself…Shall we try a new rule of life from tonight?  Never party on a school night.  (apologies to J.M. Barrie for the gross misquotation).

Last night, while I was laying in bed, not sleeping, I heard this scratching sound under my bed that would have terrified me if I was still a little kid.  I got up, turned on the light and investigated.  Turns out Butterfly (the cavelier spaniel) had managed to wedge herself between the leg of my bedframe and one of the plastic storage bins I keep under the bed.  She was trying to get out and couldn’t.  So I had to drag her out, while trying very hard to not hurt her.  It was a job of work, especially with Marcella (the foster dog) getting in my face, all “what’s-going-on-whatcha-doing?” 

If I were the ruler of the universe, I would make it against the cosmic law for any man or woman over the age of 35 to have a pimple.  After thirty-five years of living, one should not have to wake up to a freaking zit constellation on their face.  It’s wrong and evil and should be stopped.  Seriously, I have the big dipper on my right cheek. 

My dad’s coffee is better than $tarbucks.

My big sister is awesome.  No, seriously, she’s made of awesome ingredients and comes served with a side of freaking fantastic.  Everyone should have my sister, but she’s mine, mine, mine.  I don’t actually mind sharing her with a special few, and you know who you are.  But otherwise, I’m selfish and you can’t have her!!!

Speaking of sisters, I have a new one.  Please pause for a moment while I do a little Snoopy dance.  **squee, squee, squee**  Okay, I’m done now.  My redneck brother is marrying his honey this Sunday.  You know how I know she’s awesome?  ‘Cause I KNOW my brother, warts and all, and she is so sweet and good and patient with him, she must be a saint.  Don’t take that the wrong way, Lunatic, you know I love you more than my hardcover Shakespeare folio.  And that’s a lot.  I even love you more than my two limited edition James Christenson Shakespeare prints hanging on my bedroom wall.  And I had those professionally framed.  I’m just sayin.  That’s love.

Okay, this ends today’s randomness.  And in the spirit of J. M. Barrie, here’s the real quotation: “Shall we try a new rule of life from tonight?  Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.”  I think that’s a good rule.