izzybella

It isn’t a good day unless I’ve made a small child cry.  Kidding.  But I did manage to do just that last night.  My friend, R, called up and told me her youngest (we’ll call her FREAKIN’ ADORABLE or FA, ’cause that’s what she is) wanted to come over to my house and pet my dogs.  But last night just wasn’t a good night for her to come over.  When she was told it would have to wait for a better time, she started crying, which then caused her older sister (ALSO ADORABLE, or AA) to start crying.  I felt really bad about it for a while, but then I decided to celebrate my inner meanie, Cruella DeVille style, and boast on the Internet that I made a small child cry.  I’m sure it would be much more convincing if I actually meant it.  I try, but I’m not really a meanie sort of person.

It’s been a while since I blupdated, so I thought I’d log on and share random thoughts and bits.  I’m sure you’re thrilled…:)

First, it is inadvisable to party too late on a work night.  Know why?  ‘Cause you feel all icky the next day and you wind up being late to work and feeling gross and you don’t even make your bed before you leave the house because you’re running so late.  You get to work late and your co-workers and fellow partiers, who are about 10 years younger than you, look revoltingly refreshed and happy like they’ve slept ten hours, and then they make fun of you.  And then your work-mom starts singing strange songs at you to try to get you to laugh, only you’re cranky so it doesn’t work.  So then a co-worker sends an actual photograph via email of a chestnut, knowing that on usual days, the word, “chestnut”, makes you giggle like a fifth grade boy, only it doesn’t work because of the aforementioned crankiness.  And another co-worker (e.g. the best friend) brings you coffee and a slice of lemon pound cake and you have to be grateful, because deep down inside you really are truly and genuinely grateful, but the urge to be cranky is so strong…but you bravely overpower it and thank her, but you still feel pissy.  This is all theoretical, mind you.  I don’t know what makes you think I am talking about myself…Shall we try a new rule of life from tonight?  Never party on a school night.  (apologies to J.M. Barrie for the gross misquotation).

Last night, while I was laying in bed, not sleeping, I heard this scratching sound under my bed that would have terrified me if I was still a little kid.  I got up, turned on the light and investigated.  Turns out Butterfly (the cavelier spaniel) had managed to wedge herself between the leg of my bedframe and one of the plastic storage bins I keep under the bed.  She was trying to get out and couldn’t.  So I had to drag her out, while trying very hard to not hurt her.  It was a job of work, especially with Marcella (the foster dog) getting in my face, all “what’s-going-on-whatcha-doing?” 

If I were the ruler of the universe, I would make it against the cosmic law for any man or woman over the age of 35 to have a pimple.  After thirty-five years of living, one should not have to wake up to a freaking zit constellation on their face.  It’s wrong and evil and should be stopped.  Seriously, I have the big dipper on my right cheek. 

My dad’s coffee is better than $tarbucks.

My big sister is awesome.  No, seriously, she’s made of awesome ingredients and comes served with a side of freaking fantastic.  Everyone should have my sister, but she’s mine, mine, mine.  I don’t actually mind sharing her with a special few, and you know who you are.  But otherwise, I’m selfish and you can’t have her!!!

Speaking of sisters, I have a new one.  Please pause for a moment while I do a little Snoopy dance.  **squee, squee, squee**  Okay, I’m done now.  My redneck brother is marrying his honey this Sunday.  You know how I know she’s awesome?  ‘Cause I KNOW my brother, warts and all, and she is so sweet and good and patient with him, she must be a saint.  Don’t take that the wrong way, Lunatic, you know I love you more than my hardcover Shakespeare folio.  And that’s a lot.  I even love you more than my two limited edition James Christenson Shakespeare prints hanging on my bedroom wall.  And I had those professionally framed.  I’m just sayin.  That’s love.

Okay, this ends today’s randomness.  And in the spirit of J. M. Barrie, here’s the real quotation: “Shall we try a new rule of life from tonight?  Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.”  I think that’s a good rule.