Portus Day Three Update July 13, 2008

Being Sorted

Femme Snape and Chauceriangirl

izzy and Jim Dale

Fawkes, Hedwig, and Fluffy the three-headed dragon

BFFs Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape

Peeves

 As you can see, we are having a great time here at Portus.  This morning we attended the plenary session with Jim Dale.  The voice.  That voice.  As recognizable as James Earl Jones or Ian McKellan.  It was wonderful and perfect and perfectly wonderful.  He read segments from the Harry Potter books and told how he came up with various character voices.  For example: McGonagall came from his aunt; Hagrid from his uncle; Dobby from an encounter in an elevator with a very short man, “Excuse me sir, could you please get your bum out of my face?”; Peeves from a favorite radio character in Dale’s childhood; and Snape?  Well, you see, Jim Dale is very good friends with Alan Rickman.  Snape’s voice was always based on Rickman.  Clearly Alan Rickman and Severus Snape were preordained to cross paths.  It was amazing and worth the price of admission alone.  Hope the rest of you are having as good a day!

Portus Day Two July 12, 2008

View from hotel window

View from hotel windo

D. Umbridge

Madame Rosmerta

There’s something incredibly decadent about eating pizza in a posh hotel room.  I don’t know why that is, but there you are.  We’ve been taking it easy tonight, gearing up for a busier day tomorrow.  We started the day with a presentation on Gred and Forge the twin twicksters.  It was a little dry but got better when the presenter put her paper down and just talked to us.  She posited an interesting theory that perhaps Gideon and Fabian Prewitt were also twins-precursors to Fred and George.  The next workshop dealt with issues of employment law and pedagogy in Harry Potter.  We liked that one a lot and were once again amazed at the sheer amount of awesomeness that is J.K. Rowling.  The last one we attended was about building your fantasy world.  I got some really good ideas for my future best-selling novel…

We had a two hour break before the next session, so since Faith needed a wallet, we went to Sam Moon’s.  Wonder of wonders, we puchased at Sam Moon’s only the item we came for.  How freakin’ amazing is that?  Only on the way back, while trying to find somewhere to eat that doesn’t rhyme with RcRonald’s, we got good and lost.  We wound up eating at Denny’s and being too late for the last session we wanted to attend today.  But it’s all good.  We’ve sort of just been lazy schmoes.  Faith got her blupdate up while I took photos of the view from our 25th floor hotel window.

Oh, I forgot!  We invented a new phrase today: funched up (a hybrid of munched and eff’ed up), as in, “wow this construction sure is funching up the traffic flow.  Sweet.  It’s the little things, ya’ll.

We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.  The Jim Dale plenary session followed by pathetic autograph seeking.  Plus there are about three other workshops we’re planning on.  We decided against going to the masquerade ball, but we’re planting ourselves near the action so we can stalk take pictures of the creative peeps with the fabulous costumes.  We’ll be sure to post again tomorrow night.

I’m having so much fun!!  I’m really glad c.g. and I are doing this.  For another take on day two, go visit her blog. 

Umbridges, Snapes, and Malfoys, Oh My! July 11, 2008

izzy's lightening bolt necklace

Izzy’s Badge and Hufflepuff Tie

After a positively grueling 25 minute drive to Dallas (round trip repeated once I realized I left my meds at home) I knew I was at Hogwarts when I passed Sir Cadogan on his way, no doubt, to fulfill a thrilling and heroic mission.  Besides Sir Cadogan, we saw a truly awesome Draco Malfoy, Lord Voldemort (who appeared to be in two places at once as we saw him in the buffet line next to ours and then again just moments later across the room–watch moldy voldie-he’s a tricky one).  I was hugged by no less a personage than Severus Snape (hawt!) and we had dinner with Delores Umbridge.  You know, Percy was right…she is truly delightful once you get to know her.

We went to the vendor fair and bought ties for our houses as well as spiffy lightening bolt earrings (chauceriangirl) and a spiffy lightening bolt necklace (me!).  We were also awarded a gen-yoo-wine phoenix feather from Ollivander (I think he was trying to get us to look at his wand-hehe).

We forgot to bring the camera with us to the welcoming feast (sorry!!) but I’m sure we’ll see lots of costumes tomorrow and we’ll be fully armed and loaded.

The hotel is gorgeous.  I think this is the nicest hotel I’ve ever stayed in-eastern influences in the decor and sheets with a highest thread count I’ve ever snuggled up in.

I’ll do another update tomorrow.  For more pictures and details of the day, go visit chauceriangirl.

My Visit to the Humane Society July 9, 2008

I went today to see if Elle’s cute little fellow, Milo, was there, but he wasn’t.  That was heartbreaking in and of itself.  I wanted to give Elle good news.  I wanted to call her and tell her to get her butt over there, because Milo was there and ready to go home, only it didn’t work out that way.  According to the employee I spoke with, it usually works out that way.  She said she loves her job when an animal and it’s person are reunited, but days like today make it difficult.  This is why:

1. They can only keep an animal for three days.  If the animal is an even-tempered pure breed, it will be one of the lucky ones, mostly likely rescued by a breed-specific no-kill group, to be fostered and, hopefully, adopted.  If the animal is an even-tempered mutt, the Humane Society will try to adopt it out, but even then, there are no guarantees.  They put more animals down than they want to.  If the animal is a puppy, even better chances of being adopted…  A kitten or cat?  Can be kind of rough. 
2. The Humane Society has three walls covered with “Lost Animal” notices-one for lost cats, one for lost large dogs, and one for lost small dogs.  The walls were plastered with photographs of animals, big trusting eyes practically smiling into the camera.  They scour the boards every time an animal is brought in. But they can only keep the notices up for two weeks. 
3. There were more pit bulls in the shelter than any one breed of dog.  The employee said they had so many because they were rescued from a fighting ring.  A few of them are adoptable, but most will be put down.  People can be cruel to animals.
4. There was a pure-breed great pyreneese who was chipped.  Problem was the address file hadn’t been updated in years.  They’ve been having trouble finding the owner.  They’ll do all they can, but the dog has already been in the shelter for two days.  It’s a sweet dog-very adoptable, so in the end, it has good chances of survival.
5. They do the best they can, but the Humane Society is run solely off donations and volunteer hours.  Maybe if there was more money, they could save more animals. 

I asked her if she ever wanted to just take them all home and love them.  She replied, “of course.  We all do and we all try at first-they even let us try.  But eventually we learn they can’t all be saved.”  It’s a difficult job.  So from the Humane Society to me to you, here are two tips that may help if your pet is ever lost: (1) keep a current tag on your dog or cat’s collar.  (2) consider investing in a microchip-it’s a chip actually inserted under your dog’s skin with your contact information-almost all vets and shelters use this technology to reunite lost pets with their people.  The chip costs around $50 and is worth the investment. 

My friend Elle loves her dog-he’s part of her family and she’s heartbroken.  My hope is that someone found Milo and thought, “wow, cute dog–I’m gonna keep him.”  If they really loved him and really took care of him, it would hurt less.  That’s what I’m going to believe anyway.

I gave a little money to the Humane Society when I left.  Not enough-not nearly enough to help, but I gave what I could.  If you love animals, consider donating–they take in-kind donations like pet food and pet beds too.  Or just give time.  Even better.

Random Comments and Observations July 7, 2008 Edition July 8, 2008

• I am in pain.  Big pain.  The biceps hurt.  The abs hurt.  The quads hurt.  The gluteous whatevers hurt.  About the only thing that doesn’t hurt is my fingers-so typing up a blog entry?  Not too painful.  I’ve finally gotten serious about my exercise regimen.  I’ve been fairly good about doing two aerobic sessions per week in the form of the treadmill and recumbent bike, but I just added water aerobics and weight training into the mix.  The weight training comes courtesy of soleil’s gemma.  (Technically gemma is his own person, but I kind of like referring to him as soleil’s gemma, because as a couple, they make me really happy)  He’s very kind and encouraging while he beats the crap out of me.  (Kidding.  There is no beating the crap out of me, but he is challenging me, and isn’t that the point?)  So, long story short, I’m in pain, but I’m happy about it.  Weird.
• Good holiday weekend for the most part except for one not-happy thing.  Friday, I ran errands with the monster–they were actually my errands for once, so that was kind of cool.  Then I saw Hancock (see next bullet) with elle.  The suck part was the jerk-tard(s) who lit off fireworks, scaring the crap out of elle’s dog.  He pulled a Houdini and we weren’t able to find him.  Elle has been scouring the pound in the hopes that someone found him and turned him in.  Being the massive dog lover I am, I can imagine exactly what elle is going through.  I’m still hoping he can be found.  He’s cute and more importantly, he’s part of elle’s family. 
• Hancock was…okay.  I won’t ruin it for anyone.  I’ll just make a few observations about it.  One, the script had large, gaping holes that truly distracted from the enjoyment-it was like it was trying to be a comedy and then trying to be kind of a darker drama and it just couldn’t make up it’s mind.  The end result is an incoherent storyline.  It was sort of like multiple personality script disorder.  Huh.  Think that diagnosis is in the DSM?  The acting was good.  It’s virtually impossible to dislike Will Smith-he’s just so freakin’ cool.  And Charlize Theron was terrific, as was Jason Bateman as the PR guy trying to clean up Hancock’s image.  Ultimately, it was kind of forgettable.  I enjoyed it while I was there and then forgot about it by the time I left the theater.  I’d give three out of five stars.  Just for kicks and grins and also because they show half of Will Smith’s naked behind and he’s just so purty.
• I’ve been at work 10 hours today.  I’ll do the same thing Tuesday and Wednesday, but then…I’m off.  Outta here.  On a vacation of the staycation variety.  That’s right, I’ll be staying in a four-star hotel approximately 20 miles from home experiencing dorktitude at it’s finest.  A fan convention.  An adult symposium on Harry Potter.  Because I am that much of a geek.  It’s gonna be fun.  I’m very excited on account of I’m a dork.  Geek.  Spazz.  Nerd.  Whatever. 
• So, seriously, what’s the difference between a dork, geek, spazz, and a nerd?  Any insight?  I think geek is kind of techy and science like, so maybe I’m not a geek.  But I’ve been called dork, spazz, and nerd at various times by different people.  Really, Internet, what is the difference?  Any thing you have to offer would be much appreciated.
• Here endeth the randomness.  Get off the computer, ya’ll.  It’s a pretty day outside–at least here in Texas.

Random Thoughts July 1, 2008 Issue July 1, 2008

1. Yesterday was a good day.  First, we got the good news at work that we’re piloting a 4-day work week schedule with four ten-hour days and three days off.  I frequently work late anyway so it won’t be anything new.  I’m liking that schedule a lot…  Second, my new car came in a few days earlier than scheduled.  I did the paperwork last night after getting off work late and was there till bazillion o’clock.  I enjoy driving the new car, but I loathe the buying of it. 

2. Speaking of new cars, which of my friends (and by this, you should be inferring that I am begging on my hands and knees) is willing to come with me to the new car workshop being held next Thursday?  There will be free Red, Hot, and Blue BBQ.  Mmmmmm…  Unless you don’t like BBQ, in which case, they have the BEST potato salad ever.  Please.  *whimper*  I’ve been to these.  They consist primarily of the dealership trying to sell it’s own maintenance programs, which is boring and lame, I admit.  But there’s free BBQ and also chances to win door prizes like free oil changes, etc.  I’m a fan of door prizes, especially when I win them. 

3. Conference planning is headache inducing.  Seriously, at the moment I feel like someone is cruelly beating me over the head with a rubber mallet.  And while I appreciate the fact that it is just a rubber mallet and not a sledgehammer (which would make me extra dead), it still causes the head to ache and me to whine.  And that is fun for no one.

4. In one week and two days, but who’s counting, the one and only chauceriangirl and I will be on a mini-vacation attending Portus.  We’ve never done a fan conference like this so not 100% sure what to expect, but it should be fun.  Because we are dorks, we’ve already highlighted which sessions we absolutely must attend.  Because we are broke, we didn’t pay for most of the extras, like the afternoon teas and some of the keynotes and the dance.  But we’ll get to see Jim Dale present, which I’m very excited about, and there are some fantastic speakers.  I’ll have to post while we’re there and give the low-down. 

5. I’m doing water aerobics tonight with my co-worker.  Texas is hot so swimming is good.

Aaannd, can’t think of anything else to add, so this concludes today’s randomness.

Flying Risks June 27, 2008

You know what happens when you schedule a last minute flight on a plane that is already almost sold out?  You get the hump seat.  You sit between two people you have never before in your life met.  If you are lucky, at least one of them is kind of like the woman I sat next to on the return flight-she works for a Washington think tank, but assured me over and over that she is not a lobbyist and had no immediate plans to “join the dark side.”  I wound up liking her even though she is six feet tall and could probably just as easily have a career as a New York fashion model.  If, however, you are unlucky, you will be sitting next to a guy who thinks he is hawt, hawt, hawt, in low-cut skinny jeans that not only show a substantial amount of butt cleavage, but (when standing) also shows that little column of hair that leads to the man parts.  He will also stare creepily at you and periodically point out strange things he’s found in the Sky Mall magazine.  After he leans over to remove his luggage from underneath the seat in front him and then stretches up to remove his carry-on from the overhead compartment, you will feel strangely violated.  Them’s the risks of flying…

Randomness June 25, 2008 Issue June 25, 2008

Without further ado, today’s random thoughts:

1. The difference between comedy and drama.  I was pondering this as I drove home from work yesterday, mostly because yesterday was one of those difficult days where I’m struggling a bit just to stay afloat.  Life is such a soap opera sometimes and I wondered why it couldn’t be a comedy more often.  I think it can be summed up in one word-expectations.  In drama, the players are constantly optimistic, hoping for the best possible outcome.  Usually, the worst possible outcome is what they wind up with.  It makes for sadness and hurt feelings and anguish/despair, etc.  No one ever learns from their mistakes and so they’re doomed to continually repeat them.  In comedy, the players constantly expect the worst and they never get it.  The comedy is derived from the imagined anguish/despair, etc. and the reactions given from the ultimate outcome-i.e. the girl forgives the boy for being a dummy-face instead of kicking him to the curb/the boy gets promoted, not fired/the girl wins the respect of her peers instead of their ridicule/etc., and a valuable lesson is learned by all.  Which begs the question, are pessimists actually happier people? 

2. Still listening to Twilight on CD on the work commute.  It isn’t realistic, is it-this grand, all-consuming, passionate love?  Real life will eventually intrude on every relationship.  It doesn’t mean the love is any less, it just means that it changes over time, evolves.  I think after 100 years of Edward’s perfection, Bella might get a little bored.  Or maybe I’m projecting.  Maybe after 100 years, it will be even better.  I was rather wistful this morning thinking how wonderful it would be if I could meet some terrific guy who would sweep me off my feet and make me believe in true love.  Real life seems inadequate sometimes in comparison-I had the sudden thought that I’m glad I’m not one of those readers addicted to romance novels of the Harlequin variety.  It would either depress me because I don’t have someone who loves me so passionately or lead me to develop a warped sense of romance.  Besides, there are paradigms in those stories I find offensive-the idea that someone needs someone else to “complete” them.  Isn’t it better if, when you do find that perfect someone, you already have completeness to offer?

3. This leads into a natural segue-my friend Jehara met someone a while back that she loves.  When I met him and observed how they reacted it created some conflicting feelings.  The first, and strongest, is that I think this someone is Jehara’s one.  He’s the person she’ll grow old with and I don’t know why I know, but I do know.  Mostly it stems from the fact that this is the first boyfriend of hers I’ve met that when she’s with him, she’s still her-still the same Jehara I hang out with in bookstores and watch buffy-thons with.  She doesn’t repress any part of herself when she’s with him, and in a weird way that gives me hope.  Maybe it could happen for me after all some day.  The conflicting feeling is a little bit of envy.  I’ve talked to her about this, so this is nothing new to her.  It’s not envy over him, because, although I like him very much, I don’t lurve him.  It’s not even jealousy over her new relationship-it’s just kind of a wistful feeling that I don’t have that right now in my life and I think she is tremendously blessed that she does.  Don’t know why I felt the need to share that with you, Internet.  Oh well.

4. Two of my friends aren’t very friendish anymore and that makes me sad.  I don’t know what to say to either one of them about it and I don’t honestly think anything I could say would help.  I adore them both and want them both in my life. Sometimes you have friends in your life that are there for a season, but these aren’t season friends-they’re life friends.  They’re friends I expect to have when I’m 80 years old (assuming I live that long!).  I keep trying to play peacemaker, but peacemakers aren’t very popular.  You usually wind up pissing one or both of them off, and that sucks too.

These were deep random thoughts today, weren’t they?  I’m thinking I should add something goofy so I can maintain my rep.  Thinking…thinking…  Okay, here’s random thought #5:

5. I can’t believe I’m admitting this here and I really hope none of my committee members catch wind of my blog, but part of my duties for this conference is finding a tee-shirt.  The committee kept not liking every color I sent them and it was getting really frustrating.  They didn’t like the first color because they thought boys wouldn’t like it very much and they kept finding reasons to not like every other color I forwarded them.  So finally, I took a tee-shirt sample and talked the son of one of my coworkers into wearing it and letting me photograph him in it.  Let me tell you, this is a good looking kid-ridiculously pretty track and field star.  Anything would look good on him.  I forwarded the picture to everyone on the committee and they unanimously agreed that this was the shirt they’d been looking for.  The funny thing?  It was the very first shirt they originally turned down.  I’m telling you-marketing is everything.

Twilight-The Sacreligious Post June 20, 2008

Why sacreligious?  Because I profoundly love the Twilight series and yet I’m about to complain about it a little bit.  So let me offer my disclaimer-I borrowed Twilight (all three books) from my sister and never gave them back.  I don’t plan on ever giving them back, but I have assured her than she can borrow them whenever she wants.  In order to alleviate my guilt over loving the books so much, but never buying them, I even purchased all three of them on CD so I could “read” them in the car during the work commute.  Should the local bookstore do a midnight release party for Breaking Dawn, I will be there.  And L-to-the-power-of-two, foi, and I have already planned on taking December 12th off from work in order to see the first matinee.  We’ll also be doing the midnight release.  My point here is that I’m a fan.  I check the Twilight Lexicon at least once a day.  I have even read the blog of the guy who’s reading Twilight (good blog by the way, check it out).  So, though I complain, I do still love.  Without further ado, here are some things that have annoyed me on my recent reread of the Twilight series.

1. Someone is always “pursing” their lips.  Seriously.  Every major character purses their lips at least once per chapter.  It seems like it anyway, which begs the question-why don’t these people have a better range of facial expressions?  We’re told Bella’s face is an open book, and many other characters are described as expressive.  For the love of Edward, they really need to do something besides purse their lips!

2. Why is Bella totally okay with the fact that Edward was so stalkery?  I mean, honestly, ladies.  If you found out some dude-even a 100+ year old hot vampire with a strong moral streak-had been hanging around your bedroom while you slept without your knowledge and/or permission, wouldn’t you be a little weirded out?  I would.  I mean, at the very least, Bella could have worked up some righteous indignation before melting like a big pile of slobbery goo.  Have some self-respect, B!  Get a little mad first, then melt into goo.

3. Since I’m on the subject of Edward, I know he can’t help his mind-reading ability, but it’s sort of another stalkerish aspect of his character.  I’m glad Bella has the particular ability of self-containment and privacy because that levels the playing field in their relationship a bit.  For the record, should any hot mind-reading vampires with a strong moral streak show any interest in me whatsoever, the deal’s off* if he can read my mind.  A girl needs a little privacy, you know what I’m saying? *by “off” I mean, I reserve the right to reconsider should such an event ever occur.

4. Am I the only one annoyed by how Bella always describes someone’s smile?  “He smiled his crooked smile” or “he smiled a [insert descriptive word here] smile.”  It’s always that.  I accept that’s just the way Bella speaks.  Certainly after reading The Host, it’s clear to me that Stephenie Meyer is gifted in the way she allows her characters to speak through her, but that particular turn of phrase is almost as grating to me as the constancy with which characters tend to purse their lips.  Adverb, Bella.  Look it up.

5. Since I picked on Edward and his vaguely stalkerish tendencies, I should share some of that love with Jacob.  Dude, when a girl says no, what she means is no.  Gentlemen, please.  Generally speaking, though I’ll allow there are always some crazies out there, the vast majority of women aren’t kidding when the word “no” escapes their lips.  Jacob is guilty of assaulting Bella in a couple of instances and if I were Bella, I would have totally gone for that crowbar.  (Okay, not really-I’m a strictly non-violent sort of person, but still…)  Also, that half-ass apology he gave was lame.  Bella, honey, I know you feel badly after discovering that you did, in fact, love Jacob, even though you still love Edward more.  But Jacob sort of brought it on himself, by confusing the word “no” with the word “yes” even though the word “yes” has an extra letter and sounds completely different from the word “no.”

6. Bella, you have an embarrassment of riches.  Stop whining.  Your life is not that bad.  Except for the parts where crimson-eyed vampires hunt you down for the express purpose of drinking your blood and then killing you dead.  That part kind of sucks.

So six little complaints.  That wasn’t so bad, right?  I’m not the anti-Twilighter.  I’m a good fan, I am!!!  See, I even wrote some of my complaints directly to Bella, even though she is technically a fictional character.  And really, we criticize the ones we love.  Right?  What?  Okay.  Excuse me now, I have repenting to do.

Seven Random Thoughts June 17, 2008

1. York peppermint patties and orange juice are two great tastes that taste really crappy together.

2. When your wife and your sister-in-law (AKA, me) work really, really, really, really hard on cleaning and organizing your formerly lame kitchen into a wondrous (okay, not quite wondrous until it gets a new floor and a coat of paint) thing of beauty, the proper response is, “I have the best wife and sister-in-law ever!  You guys rock-the kitchen and dining room looks awesome.”  The incorrect response would be, “I thought we throwing that table out…where are the curtains…how much did you throw away…etc,” and generally freaking out because it wasn’t done exactly according to your personal taste.  Guess which response we got?

3. It is a sad, sad thing when the most relaxing time you are able to enjoy while on “vacation” is the half day you are at work.

4. I got a postcard from my friend V, of the Urquhart Castle at Loch Ness.  It is neat.

5. Virgina is for Lovers.  At least, according to the magnet my friend M gave me.  She lives in Virginia.  Is she a lover?  I can’t say.  Good friends keep secrets.

6. James McAvoy is obscenely pretty.  (See Atonement, Becoming Jane, the upcoming film Wanted, etc.)

7. In Texas, during the months of June, July, and August, a “cold front” means that instead of being 100 plus degrees, it’s only 90 plus degrees.  I think that’s lame.  Sometimes I would like to live in a place where the concept of a summer sweater is not a joke.  On the other hand, I love Texas winter.  It all balances out.

This concludes today’s randomness.