Yeah, it’s been a while. I had stuff to do, see, work stuff and other stuff. This excuse is lame, is it not? But it’s true. Truthy.
So, let me break it down into two parts because I feel like doing that way.
Work: This is my busy season (this and December/January). For some reason the fall start date kicks my butt. I think it might be that we tend to accept so many more students in the fall, but we also had some new start-up sites, which I realize means nothing to you, but let me assure you it’s a lot of work. I also travel with the lead teachers and a few administrators to our distance sites to do new student orientation, which I love, mostly because it’s fantastic to meet the students who have been emailing me for so many months. Right when they first start the program, they’re so excited and happy to be here. You have to cherish that because in less than a year, they’ll be bitter, unhappy, exhausted seniors who will hate every single one of us up until the day they graduate from the program. They usually lighten up again by then! The prospect of no more classes will do that to a student. My SR2 students started courses today, but the rest of them start next Monday. Lots to do between now and then.
Friends/Family/Everything else: My friend R got married this last weekend. This is fabulous because weddings are always terrific, but mostly because she’s marrying a really nice guy. I think he might actually be the last nice guy, which means I’m dead out of luck, but I couldn’t wish her more joy than I already do. We did the bachelorette party two weekends ago. I won nothing from the various contests. I think I might have had a chance with some nekkid man artwork, had Chauceriangirl not played her hand at the last minute. Her nekkid man art revealed nothing, yet everything. It was genius. She deserved the win, trust me. Also, I had no idea my sister could be that filthy.
Wedding was last Friday, followed by reception on Sunday. Here’s a good reception story for you and by good I mean embarrassing for me, personally, hence my goofy-ass need to immediately post it on the internet. I wore heels to R’s reception. Back about 100 lbs ago, this wouldn’t be particularly noteworthy, but I stopped wearing heels years ago because of heel spurs and ouchie feet. As a result I am out of practice and no longer walk very well in heels. But I promised R I would so I did. Enter the Electric Slide. Enter me trying to dance the Electric Slide. It was badness and I decided to beat a hasty retreat, at which point I fell hard on my ass. It was awesome. Also it was caught on video by a co-worker who is now emailing me to tell me she accepts payment in twizzlers and oreos. She keeps threatening to You Tube it, but I have decided to hold a hard stance on negotiating with You Tube terrorists. After all, there are already a million You Tube videos depicting fat women falling on their asses as they attempt to dance. I don’t think mine would add anything special to the genre. But if she does post it, I’ll be sure and link you. I’m a masochist that way.
My parents watched the RNC last weekend. My parents are hard-core, ya’ll. My stepmother loves, loves, loves Paul Ryan. She doesn’t love Mitt Romney exactly but since she thinks Obama is the anti-Christ, he already has her vote. I also witnessed the Clint Eastwood debacle since, you know, every single television in the house was turned on to the RNC. I still love you, Clint Eastwood, even if you’d have been better off keeping your opinions to yourself. This is my new philosophy this election season, starting now. Unless you are one of the select few individuals who will love me no matter who I vote for, I have political views and I’m officially keeping them to myself. Feel free to discuss with me, but don’t expect an agreement, disagreement or any other response. The only caveat: I am all for differing opinions but stop with all the hatin’. You can think Obama’s policies are detrimental to the national economy without attacking him as a person, husband or father. You can think Mitt Romney’s policies are antiquated and out-of-touch without throwing down about him being a filthy rich douche-canoe. I’m willing to listen to anyone’s point-of-view if they have the intelligence and maturity to express it thoughtfully and in an educated manner. This means that, yes, when my stepmother called Obama “lazy” over the weekend, we might have possibly had a small screaming match. A teensy one. Seriously? Stop the hate, ya’ll!! It just makes you look stupid. Also? People who hate have bad skin and smelly feet. It’s a proven fact.
Finally, I saw Bourne Legacy this weekend. Jeremy Renner? Is awesome and wears the hell out of a suit. That is all.